Monday, May 30, 2011

Unnecessary Foods

Food is a lot like nature. There are some things that go together naturally like steak and potatoes, cereal and milk, dogs and other dogs, cats and other cats. In some extreme instances you can even make crazy combinations like lasagna, General Tso's chicken, grapples, and ligers.
But then there's this imaginary line that God created that no man should ever cross. The plant and animal kingdom understand this balance of nature. That's why you don't see any banyan Basil plants, Monkephants, unicorns, or mermaids. However, someone was able to cross that line when they mated maple syrup with salmon...and then ate it. Look at it!
Don't take your eyes off it yet! Look at it again. I want you to see it and feel the bile building up in your throat. This is for your own good.
Sick isn't it. Imagine that fishy salmon flavor mixing with the candied maple flavor of the syrup. This is grossing me out too, but here's another picture.
Feel your throat burning yet? I do. This is a violation of the food world. A line has been crossed and people need to know that this kind of sickness is spreading. Another one!
It's like that show they put on in driver's ed showing the people getting smacked by cars. It's offensive and disturbing but necessary for people to see. BAM!
That was it. No more. You've had enough and frankly so have I. I weep for this world and the shame that some people have brought on it with unnecessary foods like this maple salmon grossness. This needs to end.

1 comment:

  1. Hey idiot, General Tso's chicken is made with a significant amount of sugar. The sauce is a hot and SWEET sauce. Your culinary prowess just astounds me.