Thursday, January 29, 2009

They went there...


http://www.lollyphile.com/maple-bacon.php

Go ahead, take a look. You'll quickly find yourself lost for words. Why?
Is it because you can't believe someone would make a bacon flavored lolli-pop? No, that's not it.
Is it because you're bracing for the apocalyptic consequences for the merging of such flavors? Nope, not it either.
Actually, it's probably because as soon as you saw the words "Maple-Bacon Lollipops" your mouth instantly filled with warm, chunky vomit like mine.



There has to be some kind of sweet meat conspiracy movement out there. I don't know what your purpose is or why you do what you do, but know this; I'm on to you and I will not rest until the whole world's eyes are open to your twisted and unnatural agenda.

Friday, January 2, 2009

Holiday Barf-Fest Courtesy of Rachael Ray December/January 08-09 Issue

What holiday season wouldn't be complete without Rach ruining some otherwise perfectly delicious meals! Trust me, just because you add cranberry's to something it doesn't make it good. Here's a new year's resolution for Rachael and her editors: STOP COMBINING THE SWEET WITH THE MEAT!

Here's the list of Rachael's gag-inducing recipes to start the new year:
- Honey-Almond Corned Beef Special
- Monte-Cristo Club (leave out the applesauce and you're fine)
- Orange Balsamic Chicken Thighs w/ Pecans & Sage Butter Pasta
- Sausage-Stuffed Chicken Breasts w/ Marsala & Cranberry-Orange Polenta
- Brisket w/ Sweet-Potato Tzimmes
- Winter White Burger
- Sticky Spiced-Apricot Meatloaf
- Napa Cabbage, Carrot & Almond Slaw w/ Honey
- Sausage, Fennel and Apple Skewers

I'll admit her numbers for this month were down, but the nausea factor is still sky-high. Don't agree? Put some apricots in your meatloaf and let me know how it turns out.