Saturday, February 6, 2010

Pei Wei Betrei'd Me

Before I begin, go get a large bucket. You're going to need it when you see this. Before I get to the pukey part let's talk about some good things to dip or coat chicken in. There's good 'ol ketchup, BBQ sauce (non-honey), soy sauce, mustard (non-honey), buffalo sauce, Worcestershire sauce, ranch, chili sauce, salsa, guacamole, cream gravy, and a few others. What's NOT on the list? Right, sweet stuff like honey, sugar, molasses, syrup, fruit, chocolate, and sweet and sour sauce. Evidently the "chefs" at Pei Wei asian grill are sadist who thought it would be a good idea to play one of the largest food pranks in American history. They all came up with one of the worst combinations in the known universe - just to see if we're gullible enough to try it. I present to you Pei Wei Caramel Chicken. Good one Pei Wei. Nice try. I'm not falling for it.

(now that your bucket is full of chuck aren't you glad you got it?) I've had to empty mine twice just while writing this post.

Ham IN the french toast.


Got this picture from a co-worker (who I was thinking about starting to refer to them as a friend, but not anymore) the other day. Let's first get the record straight; this crap ain't mine. How can you tell? Cause of the fork and knife marks in the styrofoam! I figured this person just bought this so they could take a picture and send it to me. I didn't expect them to actually eat a bite! Is that cheese too? Gross...Apparently our on-site cafetorium determined that it was not good enough to simply put a slice of ham off to the side of the french toast. No, some genius working there said, "I'm going to put this meat inside the french toast. Then I'll put some syrup and powdered sugar all up in there." So, I'm deciding to do what any rational level headed person would do when confronted with this travesty. I'm going to hijack the next shipment of bread, eggs, syrup, and ham going to the cafeteria. Since there are no cliffs the drive the truck off of, I'll plunge it into a lake or river. Then I'll be a hero. Don't thank me. Just doing my part.