I must be out of touch with the food world. Apparently overnight everyone started eating Grape Jelly Meatballs. I'm not making this up. I can't! I wouldn't!
It reminds of those "Grosser than Gross" jokes we'd come with as kids. It'd go something like this:
"What's grosser than gross?
Finding a cockroach in your Big Mac
What's grosser than that?
Finding half a cockroach in your Big Mac "
Funny stuff, I know. Ok, let me try one.
"What's grosser than gross?
- Putting grape jelly all over some meatballs
What's grosser than that?
- EATING IT!!!!"
Yep. Still funny. I win.
S
o I was hanging out with some "friends" a few weeks ago and one of these "friends" had made some pineapple salsa. My "friend" knew very well about my utmost disdain for such concoctions. Regardless, I was accosted and pressured as if I was in junior high school again to try it cause I've never tried it before.
For some reason people think that I'll come around if I just try their version of some sweet/savory or sweet/meat violation. As if magically MY eyes will be opened and I'll get this big smile on my face and tears will start rolling down my cheeks as I'm overcome with gratefulness that they were able to lift the veil of darkness from my taste buds. Well guess what?
I gave in and tried some of the pineapple salsa that my "friend" was relentlessly offering. Not to be swayed into having to take a second bite if I didn't like it, I made sure that the content on the first chip was of a heaping portion. You'll never be able to guess what happened next... go on, guess...
I HATED IT! It was disgusting! The spicy bite of the onions mixed with the cilantro and fajita seasoning absolutely did NOT mix well the sweet and juicy pineapple! My face contorted and I politely swallowed the mess and got something to drink. They didn't have to ask if I liked it. They saw the look on my face.
Listen up. Let me be try to help you understand. Just because I haven't tried your crappy sweet meat recipe doesn't mean I won't know if I'll like it or not. That whole "Don't knock it till you've tried it" bit is weak. When you empty out your frig full of rotten leftovers, you don't have to taste it to know it's bad. I will occasionally give in for your own personal amusement. Don't ever question my resolve to rid this world of these vile combinations. You want to change me? Give me your best shot.
