Wednesday, November 24, 2010

Thanksgiving Rules - NoSweetMeat edition

Just so we're all on the same page this Thanksgiving, I've decided to share with you some proper etiquette when preparing your non sweet meat meal.

  1. No honey on the ham.

  2. No brown sugar on the ham.

  3. No cranberry sauce must touch the turkey. (see pictures)

  4. Absolutely do not let the cranberry sauce get mixed in with the stuffing.

  5. Don't let the cranberry know what, just get a separate plate for the cranberry sauce.

  6. Yams and sweet potatoes should be considered a dessert and therefore not allowed on the same plate as the other meats and vegtables.

  7. Especially follow #6 if there are marshmellows on top of the sweet potatoes.

  8. Don't fruit the stuffing. No apples, no raisins, no fruit in the stuffing. Ever.

  9. Saw a recipe for Maple Dill Carrots. Don't make that.

  10. No syrup in the green bean bundles.

  11. Pineapples do not go on the ham.

  12. Cinnamon apples belong on the dessert plate.

  13. Baste the turkey with butter, olive oil, or its own broth. Not maple syrup or any other fruit juice.

  14. Use dill relish in the deviled eggs instead of sweet relish.

In the spirit of the holiday I will allow all you sweet meat lovers to poison my blog with all your sweet meat, or sweet and savory, violations. Please leave a comment telling me about your favorite infraction so that I may verbally abuse you. Happy Thanksgiving!


  1. I thought you would mention Gravy, (notice how it is capitalized, therefore referring to a person). I see no reason to separate the cranberry sauce because it is a "sauce" therefore should be used on following thanksgiving items... Turkey, Stuffing, and if you really like it, throw it on the potatoes. I think your problem is that you don't get enough sweetness at home and then you take it out on the deliciousness called sweet meat! Happy Thanksgiving!

  2. I agree with you. Any kind of sweetness added to meat doesn't taste good. Sugar cured ham is disgusting. Sweet and sour chicken makes me gag. I'm glad I'm not alone!

  3. Then you've found a safe place. You're home. Come to the blog often to share your experiences. We've got to let these people know the destruction they are causing our society. We can't let them get away with this. We must stand strong and rebel against all that is sweet and meaty!