Offending Recipes in Everyday with Rachael Ray - August 2008

In an effort to convince all of you sweet meat haters out there that your cause is just, I want to once again show you what we are up against. As cute as Rachael Ray is, so many of her recipes absolutely disgust me! Not all of them. All kidding aside, I love a great deal of her food. For example, in the August 08 issue she has recipes for Corn and Salsa Tortilla Soup and Vegetable Manicotti; Delicious!

It's just that when she fails, she fails catastrophically. Here is the grand list of FAIL for Rachael Ray August 2008.
- Grilled Cheese Sandwiches with Spicy Grapefruit Salad
- Sweet Tart Ribs and Potato Zucchini Boats
- Chilled Cucumber Lime Soup
- Steak Quesadillas with Hot Peach Salsa
- Sweet Peach Chicken and Greens
- Jalapeno Mango Shrimp
- Sloppy Veg Head Joe (brown sugar)
- Red Waldorf Salad (grapes, cranberry sauce)
- Swordfish Zucchini Kebabs (nectarines)
- Grilled Strawberry Break

So sad...

Spicy Chocolate is as bad as it sounds!

So, anyone else noticed the trend lately to put spicy sauces or powders into chocolate dishes? I'm thinking, "What the hell is going on the world today?" You see, it goes both ways. You shouldn't put sweet things in savory or spicy dishes and conversely, you shouldn't put spicy things in sweet dishes!

Examples:
Brownies with Chili Powder
Habenero Caramels
Cayenne Chocolate bar
cherry-chipotle chocolate bar
Mexican Hot Chocolate - Ibarra
Chocolate cake with Chili Powder, Cinamon, and balsalmic vinegar
Spicy Chocolate chip cookies

So, when I did a little research, this is a very common combination which completely validates my point of view that people are mindless sheep who will follow anyone who says "This is good. I ate it in an expensive restaurant or saw it in a magazine." I bet the chefs add things like that on the menu just to see who's dumb enough to actually try it!

I can see it, the chef says, "I'll see just how far a tourist will go with the crap that I dish up. I'll start off with a normal cake; then I put a layer of fish spread in the middle; make the icing out of chocolate and tabasco sauce; and add some chocolate covered garlic cloves over the top." Then he'll charge $18 per slice and the tourist will buy it only because it's different and expensive. Problem is that the tourist will not only barely be able to contain himself from spewing all over the place, but then he'll go home and brag about the exotic dessert he ate on vacation. A trend is born...

Conclusion: Spicy chocolate leads me to think that there is no hope for the future.

Everyday with Rachael Ray magazine report for June/July 2008 issue

Cute little Rachael Ray is a perfect example of a celebrity chef who creates vile concoctions and publishes them in her magazine. I was amazed as I was thumbing through my wife's copy of this magazine to see how many recipes go against everything I believe in (no sweet meat).

Here is a list of offending recipes from just ONE issue!
- Chicken, Plum and Red Onion Kebabs
- Coconut Mango Chicken with Black Beans
- Salmon Steak with Grilled Pineapple and Corn
- Turkey Kebabs (contains Asain Pear wedges)
- Grape Stuffed Sausage Meatballs with Flatbread
- Grilled Pork Chops with Peachy Hot Salsa
- Georgia Peach Chicken Sandwiches
- Pan Fried Pork with Blueberries
- Chip Crusted Chicken Skewers (contains red grapes)
- Mini Peach and Pesto Pizzas
- Hawaiian Stacks

Seriously! Do you actually think Rachael has ever sunk her teeth into a chicken sandwich with peaches on it? I bet she would spit it out. You see, these chefs think that combining fruits and meats makes them a better and more critically acclaimed cook. But you know, they've probably never even tasted the crap they make up! I can play too.

Here's a recipe of my own called Southwest Blueberry Quesidillas:
Put one flour tortilla on a hot grill and layer with spicy shredded chicken, cilantro, corn, black beans, onions, and blueberry pie filling. Top with cheddar cheese and another flour tortilla. Cook each side for 5 minutes, slice into quarters and enjoy!

Food critics please send your praises and awards!