Sweet Beef Jerky = Fun at Work

It's time we discuss how the state of Beef Jerky has gone to hell in a handbag. I always assumed beef jerky to be a snack consumed by the manliest of men. Seasoned and dried meat that has to be carnally torn apart by the teeth of a wild man. A power packed piece of protein that served as a source of nourishment for someone eating this meal like it's his last.

Enter beef jerky 2009. A soft textured beef(?) like substance soaked in sugar water before being pumped with perservatives, bagged, and sold to the masses at Walmart. Take a look at the ingredient list. Even on the peppered and original; third or fourth ingredient is sugar! What happened to the real beef jerky? The kind you can still get at a select few smokehouses along lonely stretches of Texas highways like Woody's. The kind that takes an hour to gnarl your way through a one ounce piece. Not this Oberto or Jack's Links crap that comes with flavors like Teriyaki, Sweet & Hot & Maple. There's a whole site dedicated to this farce. Man up people! Eat food the way it was meant to be.

Now I want everyone to play my favorite game; real life application! The next time you're at the Outback or Saltgrass Steakhouse, when your steak arrives at the table, instead of reaching for the A1, salt, or liquid smoke, reach on over and grab yourself 4 or 5 sugar packets. Tear em open and pour it over your steak. Eat it. Enjoy it. What's wrong? Is that grossing you out? OF COURSE IT IS! YOU JUST PUT SUGAR ALL OVER YOUR FREAKIN STEAK! WHAT'D YOU EXPECT YOU DIMWIT? Go back to eating tofu and grass.

Why would you not do that in a million years, but turn around and grab a bag of sugar infused jerky at the grocery store the next day. Because you're a hypocrite! Stop living the lie! Join me and help me open people's eyes to this sickness.